I’ve been writing this column for at least twenty seasons and there is something happening this weekend that I have never seen before. Something so shocking, so amazing, that I am going to stick it at the end of the column because there is no Iowa game this week and I want to be sure you read the whole thing.

(Hey, at least I’m honest and transparent, even when that doesn’t work out in my favor. I even tell you, every week …)

MINNESOTA AT RUTGERS: I said Minnesota 27, Rutgers 20; actual score Rutgers 26, Minnesota 19

Not gonna lie: I don’t mind being wrong about a pick when I’ve picked Minnesota to win but it loses.

PURDUE AT OHIO STATE: I said Ohio State 48, Purdue 3; actual score Ohio State 45, Purdue 0

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD

MICHIGAN AT INDIANA: I said Indiana 30, Michigan 13; actual score Indiana 20, Michigan 15

Pretty sure this result suppressed Indiana’s playoff ranking.

MARYLAND AT OREGON: I said Oregon 44, Maryland 17; actual score Oregon 39, Maryland 18

All you can do is watch the Ducks and marvel.

WASHINGTON AT PENN STATE: I said Penn State 38, Washington 22; actual score Penn State 35, Washington 6

I forgot Washington wasn’t a Top Ten team so of course Penn State was going to do well against them.

IOWA AT UCLA: I said Iowa 30, UCLA 24; actual score UCLA 20, Iowa 17

Actually, I’m pretty sure this didn’t happen. Iowa never loses in the Rose Bowl!

4-2 isn’t terrible for the week, especially this late in the season, but of course I try to get all the picks right. I am now 86-23 (.789) on the year. There is still plenty of time to push that number down further! On that note …

*: all times in this column are always in Central, because that's how I roll.

Two teams heading in opposite directions, like the North-Going Zax and the South-Going Zax. Unlike the Zax (Zaxes? Zaxae? Zaxxon?) one of them is absolutely going to have to get out of the way because college football games can no longer end in ties.

UCLA fans were ready to jettison DeShaun Foster a month ago even though it's his first season. That would have been a stupid thing to do (which is why it didn’t happen) because the Bruins are suddenly one of the hottest teams in the Big Ten.

Washington fans have been more patient with Jedd Fisch but man, he needs a win here, because his team has not shown much progress from August until now. But I still believe in the home-field advantage so I think the Huskies get it done -- and I think this will be a nail-biter.

Washington 24, UCLA 23

Northwestern has correctly figured that My First Stadium (by Fisher-Price) can’t contain the sliver of Buckeye Nation that either lives in Chicagoland or is willing to travel there in mid-November. So off to The Friendly Confines we all go!

(I actually love watching football games in baseball stadiums. They’re like watching someone trying to dance while wearing the wrong size pants.)

As for how this game will go, do you really need me to tell you? I think the Cats will keep Ohio State closer than Purdue did but buddy, that’s not saying very much.

Ohio State 44, Northwestern 13

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This would be an easy game to dismiss because it starts at a strange, made-for-TV time and it’s airing on FS1, which is in Sports Tier Siberia for most folks. I think, though, that this will be one of the most interesting games of the weekend, at least in the sense that both teams are competent and there isn’t an obvious favorite.

I do believe that on the whole I favor Illinois in this, since it’s in Champaign and I don’t see Michigan State as a team the Illini need to be afraid of. Illinois is 5-1 at home. Sparty is 1-3 on the road. At this point of the season, that’s enough evidence for me. I do think it’ll be a good game, though.

Illinois 30, Michigan State 24

Ryan Walters has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever, but Purdue just doesn’t have that sort of a “punch above your weight class” performance in it, or it would have shown up by now. I’d say more, but two sentences about this game is one sentence too many.

Penn State 42, Purdue 6

Matt Rhule. Lincoln Riley. Two coaches rapidly discovering how close their SELL BY date is.

To be fair, I doubt Nebraska would actually get rid of Rhule after this season, but he’s making mid-season staff moves that typically wait for December. That shows how he understands Husker Nation had enough close losses and near misses under the previous regime. I think their patience will be rewarded as Rhule’s third season at each of his (college) stops was excellent.

As for Riley, southern California is a pretty good real estate market, but Nick Saban isn’t running his washed-coach rehab center in Tuscaloosa any more, so he’d better win, and I think he will.

USC 28, Nebraska 20

Will you never rest?

Fighting the battle of who could care less?

Unearned unhappiness

That’s alright, I guess

Rutgers 31, Maryland 27

Speaking of coaches who are gonna have to put up pretty soon, there’s Wisconsin’s Luke Fickell, who needs Oregon coming to town about as much as he needed Jack Del Rio’s freelance landscaping gig. (Ah, Madison, one of my favorite places on Earth, but it’s absolutely where an intemperate man can put the “I” in “DUI.”)

As with most of the games this week, there’s about as much mystery in this one as there is in the typical episode of Dora the Explorer. Will Oregon pull off a gritty road win? In Camp Randall? Where the Badgers are a mighty 3-2 on the season? Come on, vamonos!

Oregon 40, Wisconsin 17

Oh yeah … the amazing, unprecedented fact I promised you up above? No two Big Ten games this weekend kick off at the same time. You’ve clicked on worse, admit it.