You may not remember the name Brett Basanez, but I certainly do. Basanez was the Northwestern quarterback who almost singlehandedly ruined my birthday weekend in 2005.

I shouldn’t have even been at that game. My wife was at home, seven months pregnant, along with a seven-year-old and a child who had just turned one and had not yet learned to walk. I don’t know why she let me go, but she did. So there I was, at Ryan Field, on a perfect early November day, along with two very good friends of mine who both had bachelor’s degrees from Iowa and MBAs from Northwestern. (Their loyalties were not divided, and still aren’t. Hawks all the way. You can change where you are but it’s pretty tough to change where you’re from. Said the man from Fort Dodge.)

Iowa dominated that game in the first three quarters, and we can stop there if you want because even if you don’t remember that game, even if you don’t remember Brett Basanez, crikey, even if you weren’t yet born in 2005, you already know what comes next. Basanez was clutch, leading the Wildcats down the field when it counted, and Northwestern won, 28-27.

It was a quiet walk back to the car. But at some point, I said to my friends, “You know, we just watched one hell of a football game.” And they agreed, because we had. It is so easy to forget that we watch the games for entertainment.

I am not so Hawk-besotted that I am unaware of Iowa’s place in the college football ecosystem. Every season will have two losses; if the loss count doesn't get over four, it was a decent year. I can live with that. I can even admit that my favorite team has long been borderline unwatchable for anyone but its own fans. The Hawks have been boring and at best semi competent on offense for as long as they’ve been without Ken O’Keefe as coordinator.

Boring is fine if you’re good. Jacques Lemaire won two Stanley Cups as head coach of the New Jersey Devils with boring, unwatchable clutch-and-grab hockey that was so excruciating it made the NHL change its rules.

Bad is fine if you’re entertaining. If you watched WAC football in the Nineties, you already knew that. Games don’t end 57-48 in regulation if either team can play a lick of defense. But boring and bad? That is deadly, because that’s when the fans stop caring.

I don’t know why I feel compelled to say that on this site that week. No particular reason. And speaking of blatant lies …

I said Indiana 48, WIU 3; actual score, Indiana 77, WIU 3

The UN Security Council has strongly condemned this game.

I said Duke 16, Northwestern 14; actual score Duke 26, Northwestern 20

But hey, love the lakeside stadium.

I said Texas 28, Michigan 26; actual score, Texas 31, Michigan 12

Didn’t figure it would be that bad. “Alexa, fire up the ‘No, Texas Is Not Back’ article.”

I said Minnesota 38, Rhode Island 10; actual score, Minnesota 48, Rhode Island 0

Should I use an oil-based stain on my deck? I mean, I have four dogs …

I said Wisconsin 34, USD 14; actual score, Wisconsin 27, USD 13

I am not yet on the Luke Fickell Greatness Train.

I said Kansas 34, Illinois 20; actual score Illinois 23, Kansas 17

If I had to get a pick wrong, at least the coach who clowned me was Bret Bielema.

I said Ohio State 56, WMU 13; actual score, Ohio State 56, WMU 0.

Water-based stains dry a lot quicker, but there’s less margin for error. Maybe if I stain after dinner, it’ll be dry enough for the dogs to walk on in the morning …

I said Iowa 31, Iowa State 18; actual score, Iowa State 20, Iowa REDACTED

Actually, I’m pretty sure this didn’t happen. You know how good they’re getting with deepfakes and all. Nope, never happened.

That’s 6-2 in the legacy Big Ten, which combines with 6-1 last week in the new Big Ten for a 12-3 week overall and a season total of 28-5 (.848).

Click here for Part One of this week's picks -- Pickin' on the New Big Ten.

Illinois did a great job last week, knocking off a ranked team for the first time since … okay, it was only three seasons ago, but it was against Minnesota, so LOL.

Central Michigan has been on both ends of blowouts already this season, destroying Central Connecticut -- “Alexa, is that even a school? Is it NAIA? It’s NAIA, isn’t it?” -- and getting destroyed by FIU, which was itself destroyed by the possibly resurgent Indiana Hoosiers.

As much as I want to believe Bret Bielema can take Illinois to the next level, having lived in this state for eight years now, I’m not sure there is a next level for Illinois. “Inconsistent but pesky” is a good gig, though, and the state has a decent retirement plan, so it could still work out.

Oh, the game? If Central Michigan got blown out by FIU, the Chips don’t have a chance against the Illini.

Illinois 48, CMU 10

Exactly what Sherrone Moore and his Michigan team need after the humiliation at the hands of Texas (in the Big House, no less). Remember Jerry Tarkanian’s famous quote about how the NCAA got so mad at Kentucky that it gave Cleveland State two more years of probation?

Michigan is so mad at Texas it’s going to drop 60-plus on Arkansas State.

Michigan 63, Arkansas State 3

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It figures. An SEC team finally plays a road game up north against a Big Ten team and it’s Alabama, against a Wisconsin squad that’s iffier than marked-down gas station sushi, and somehow Gulf Coast weather gets imported.

Kalen DeBoer needs a statement because Alabama’s 42-16 win over South Florida last week was a blowout on paper only. The Bulls were in that game way, way longer than they should have been.

Well, he should get it here, because Wisconsin hasn’t shown me anything so far this season. Camp Randall is a wonderful place to watch a game, but the Crimson Tide will enjoy this more than Luke Fickell wants them to.

Alabama 44, Wisconsin 17

I can’t believe Sparty is playing a subdivision. Not a Football Championship Subdivision team; an actual subdivision. “Prairie View Estates, new construction, gated community, starting in the low $300s. Prequalify now!”

Michigan State 56, Prairie View 6

So when I stain my deck, do I have to sand the rough-sawn lattice on the sides too? It should be rough enough to hold stain, shouldn’t it? I really want to get this right because we got it wrong two summers ago and now it looks like it hasn’t been stained since the Clinton administration.

Minnesota 38, Nevada 13

But the stain did stick to the railings and the lattice, it just wore off the floor of the deck in about eight months. That has to be because we didn’t sand it first, right? We won’t make that mistake again, especially not with stain costing something north of $40 a gallon for the good stuff. And should I believe that anything that says it’ll cover in one coat actually will?

Can I trust the stuff that says it’s stain and sealant all in one? The deck is over thirty years old, but it’s in pretty good shape and we just had the parts of it that weren’t in such good shape replaced back in July.

Northwestern 33, EIU 12

And, of course …

I didn’t like it any more than you did.

I am telling myself the reason that Iowa looked so much better against Illinois State than it did against Iowa State is because Illinois State is a lower-division opponent, a perennial Missouri Valley also-ran, and the Hawkeyes would have dropped 40 on them no matter who was coaching.

Two games is not enough evidence to determine the trajectory of a season.

Troy is a university in southeastern Alabama, not far from the Florida line. It is 0-2 with losses to Memphis and Nevada. Gerad Parker, former offensive coordinator at Notre Dame and West Virginia, is in his first season coaching the Trojans. There are some growing pains, obviously.

Two games is not enough evidence to determine the trajectory of a season.

There are questions about whether Cade McNamara is fully recovered. The Iowa defense, normally as durable as an anvil, couldn’t get the job done last week when it had to protect a 19-7 lead, a position it had been in -- and handled --more times than anyone can count. The Iowa offense quit much earlier in the game, however, and that’s not unusual either.

Two games is not enough evidence to determine the trajectory of a season.

Two games is not enough evidence to determine the trajectory of a season.

Even with increased parity in the FBS, Iowa should be able to beat a team like Troy on roster-based brute force alone. Troy’s starters can probably hang with anyone for a quarter or two. The backups, not so much.

I think the Hawks will actually look pretty good here in this game.

I also think there are at least eight teams in the Big Ten that would win this game by more than 30 points, which is what a Power Five team ought to do against a thoroughly mid Sun Belt squad with a first-year coach who has never been a full-time head coach before.

Iowa 23, Troy 13