Tuesdays with Torbee

Walking back to the tailgate last Saturday after Iowa’s 24-14 victory over Colorado State was a weirdly subdued affair.

A little sunburned and dehydrated, neither myself, my tailgate companions nor most of the throng hoofing it down Melrose were boisterous, celebratory or triumphant. No one was unhappy or despondent, mind you, but there was a collective lack of the enthusiasm one typically sees after Hawkeye wins.

At this point, I made an observation that several of my tailgate crew said Tom Kakert would never let me put into print for my column, but I’m going to anyway.

“That game was like making out with your third cousin,” I opined. “Not entirely unenjoyable, but also weird and uncomfortable and you just don’t feel great about yourself afterward, even though there’s nothing TECHNICALLY wrong with it.”

Uncomfortable laughter ensued, but they all knew I was right.

And before you inundate Tom or myself with angry missives about celebrating and normalizing incest, I did Google search familial relationships and which ones were morally, ethically and legally OK and not only are relations with your third cousin perfectly fine, some studies suggest they are actually ideal.

So now that we have that out of the way, let ‘s talk about why Iowa’s last out-of-conference contest was oddly unsatisfying.

First of all, Colorado State was supposed to be a tomato can, a nice final warm up where Iowa could lay to rest worries about its herky-jerky offense. Instead, the running game suddenly bogged down, the offensive line looked shaky and somehow the 22.5-point favorite Hawks were down 14-7 at halftime.

Now, I never felt like Iowa was in serious danger of losing this game. Despite the sloppy first half play and the Rams hitting on some big plays, it was quite obvious Iowa was bigger, faster, stronger and better.

The big break that turned the game around came early in the third quarter when Jack Campbell scooped up a fumbled ball at the Colorado State six-yard line. One play later, Tyrone Tracy scampered into the end zone to tie it up. A quick three-and-out forced after that score was followed up with a 27-yard touchdown pass from Spencer Petras to Sam LaPorta on the ensuing drive, and Iowa never looked back as the defense did its boa constrictor act and shut the Rams out the rest of the way.

Ironically, although this game may have been the worst overall offensive outing of the young season, a closer look reveals it may have been the best by Petras, which theoretically should put some doubters’ fears to rest. The oft-maligned Iowa quarterback finished an impressive 15-23 for 224 yards and 2 touchdowns. That is a robust 65 percent completion average, which is particularly impressive considering Petras was pushing the ball downfield aggressively. He did have the one ugly interception, but otherwise this was his finest outing to date.

But that running game. Woof. Yes, Colorado State was packing the box and daring Petras to beat them through the air (be careful what you wish for, future opponents!) but there is no denying that many blocks were missed and all-Big 10 performer Tyler Goodson seemed oddly tentative and missed some holes. A Big 10 team that loves to run like Iowa should be able to grind out more than 100 yards against a Mountain West team, regardless of how many men they put in the box to stop the run, and that just didn’t happen Saturday.

So as Kirk Ferentz is overly fond of saying, there are definitely some things to clean up. But let’s tamp down the level of panic a bit, shall we?

Some of the best and most beloved teams of the Ferentz era have survived early season clunkers and gone on to sterling records and Top 10 finishes.

Probably the best and most painful example is the 2002 debacle at home against Iowa State, in which Brad Banks got injured, the Iowa offense bogged down and a team that ended up running the table in the Big 10 was completely shut down in the second half to a good-not-great Cyclone squad.

The Orange Bowl-winning 2009 team survived a bigger scare than last week when it had to block consecutive short field goals by a game-but-outmatched Northern Iowa team to preserve a nail-biting win. That team might have been a national title contender had Ricky Stanzi not gone down with a season-ending injury against Northwestern.

The other thing to keep in mind is 2021 so far has been a season for underdog upsets. Through the first four weeks of the season, 25 of the Associated Press Top 25 teams have already taken a loss. That is the most upsets in the opening month since the poll started in 1936.

Your Iowa Hawkeyes may not have looked like world beaters this past two weeks, but imagine being a Badger (humiliated by Notre Dame 41-13) or Gopher (crazy 14-10 upset loss to a terrible Bowling Green team) or Iowa State (dream season and CFP dreams already shattered with a 2-2 record) fan and keep that smile on your face.

And maybe look up that third cousin you haven’t seen since the last family reunion.

Follow me on Twitter @ToryBrecht