Hey, I have been under the weather a bit the past week; did anything happen with the Hawkeyes or was it another typically boring bye week?

Okay, okay, I'm kidding, this was the most eventful bye week in the history of Hawkeye football.

Elsewhere in the conference, it's looking like a return to the 1970s in the sense that, after all is said and done, the only game on the conference schedule that will really matter is Ohio State-Michigan.

Hey, that gives me a chance to point out one of my favorite mind-melting facts about the Big Ten: did you know that, prior to 1975, the Rose Bowl was the only bowl Big Ten teams were allowed to participate in? It's true! No matter the record, only one conference team was allowed to go to a bowl game each season, and the representative was chosen by conference athletic directors if there was a tie in the standings. After the 1973 season the directors voted 6-4 to send Ohio State instead of Michigan. Two seasons later the conference started to allow multiple teams to accept bowl bids, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence!

I'm hoping that history is enough to distract you from ...

Michigan State at Minnesota: I said Michigan State 20, Minnesota 17; actual score, Minnesota 27, Michigan State 12.

At least the Gophers think this means they're going to Indianapolis, like any West team actually wants to go there this season.

Purdue at Nebraska: I said Purdue 24, Nebraska 20; actual score, Nebraska 31, Purdue 14.

Don't worry, the predictions only gets worse from here.

Maryland at Northwestern: I said Maryland 34, Northwestern 6; actual score, Northwestern 33, Maryland 27.

Mike Locksley is dead to me. Dead.

Indiana at Penn State: I said Penn State 44, Indiana 16; actual score, Penn State 33, Indiana 27.

You can't stop Tom Allen's air attack. You can only hope to contain it, and you usually can.

Ohio State at Wisconsin: I said Ohio State 41, Wisconsin 13; actual score, Ohio State 24, Wisconsin 10.

It's pretty sad that this turned out to be my best prediction of the week.

So that's 2-3 on the week, and honestly I was long overdue for that stinker. My season record falls to 65-12 (.844). Can I continue this regression to the mean?

Challenge accepted.

Frankly Wisconsin and Indiana disappointed me last week. I expected both of them to get killed but nooo, they had to be competitive.

Braelon Allen is out for the Badgers. If there's ever a team against which you would think you could live without him, it should be Indiana. Yet somehow the Hoosiers performed bafflingly well against Penn State last Saturday. I truly don't think the outcome of this game is in doubt, but then again Indiana's bowl hopes are still technically alive. Will the Hoosiers rise up in front of a crowd of dozens and shock the world by upsetting the Badgers?

LOLnope.

Wisconsin 27, Indiana 12

Way back in Week 1 I cautioned folks about being too confident that Matt Rhule could turn Nebraska around in his first year. He's been successful at all his college stops but has never had a great first season. I think the Husker faithful can be pleased with how he's performed this season regardless of what happens from here on out; I think the worst he can do is be a nicer Bo Pelini.

Meanwhile, the one Michigan State alumnus I interact with every week has given up on this season and doesn't even want to speculate who the next coach will be. If the fans have checked out, the team probably has too. Let the winds of November blow away this wet fart of a season. Huskers win easily and become bowl-eligible for the first time since Mike Riley's second season.

Nebraska 33, Michigan State 10

Rutgers put all its eggs back in the Greg Schiano basket, but there is probably nothing that can help the perennially overmatched Scarlet Knights against Ohio State.

(Alexa, insert tired New Jersey stereotype number 246 here; I need some more coffee.)

Well, nothing legal, anyway.

Ohio State 37, Rutgers 20

While the West probably won't be sorted out until the last week of the season, it's looking more and more like the East's pecking order is already established, and Penn State is third. Playoff contenders don't struggle at home against Indiana. Wait, that's not true. Playoff contenders don't struggle anywhere against Indiana.

As for Maryland, I give up. I thought they were pretty good after the first six weeks of the season, but like David Byrne with nerd glasses, it's the same as it ever was, the Terps are a Big Ten also-ran. And this is Life During Wartime, so unless Maryland starts Burning Down The House with a Once In A Lifetime performance, their fans will be Up All Night wondering where it all went wrong.

Penn State 34, Maryland 23

Oh the depths that I've sunk to, hoping that Bret Bielema can beat Minnesota just because P.J. Fleck's smirking is audible to me from 650 miles away. But if there's anything I've learned in 20 seasons of writing this column (and there may not be anything that I've learned), it's that just because I want something to happen doesn't mean it will.

If Bielema was still coaching Wisconsin I wouldn't have to worry about this. But I don't think he can beat Minnesota with Illinois's players. The Gopher bubble inflates for another week. Fleck's smirk becomes audible on the outskirts of Memphis.

Minnesota 20, Illinois 14

Jim Harbaugh already knows everything that's going to happen in this game.

Then again, who doesn't?

Michigan 48, Purdue 17

And that leaves just one game, of course.

How do I loathe this game? Let me count the ways:

1. Iowa, the week it lets Brian Ferentz go;

2. Against Kirk Ferentz's bête noire, Northwestern;

3. The week after a huge Wildcats road win;

4. Playing in a baseball stadium;

5. In a game that can only be viewed on a streaming service.

I would prefer letting Captain Hook give me a prostate exam to picking this game. (Fortunately for me, he's not a doctor, and Dr. Hook is a band.)

However.

The only possible upside of Beth Goetz making the decision right now is that it ends the ridiculous kabuki theater of 25 points per game. And honestly I think that had to factor into her decision. The best way to salvage the season after sending Floyd of Rosedale north to dwell among the savages for a season was to ensure that only wins and losses matter from this point forward. The time to make the decision she made on Monday was right after the season last year, but her predecessor chose to sign a time-bomb contract amendment and retire before it blew up.

Kirk Ferentz plays his cards close to his chest. And the team has had a lot of injuries. We'll never know if Cade McNamara could have changed everything, but then again he's just one injury among many. I'm not an Iowa City Kremlinologist but I'm guessing the brakes are going to come off a bit these last four weeks of the season. I may be very wrong about this game but I actually have a good feeling about it.

Iowa 24, Northwestern 17